Diana's guilt
18 Nov 08
It has now been over a week since illness forced her out of an X Factor performance, but Diana Vickers is still receiving flack from critics who suggest her no-show resulted in Laura White’s exit from the show.
In an exclusive interview with The X Factor website Diana speaks out about the laryngitis that made her too sick to sing, and the guilt she felt when her best friend Laura was voted out of the show.
“To miss Mariah Carey week was one of the most frustrating things ever for me, but I was so poorly it would have been practically impossible for me to sing,” said the 17-year old, who is still feeling the effects of the virus.
“I was diagnosed with laryngitis and the next day I was told I had severe inflammation of the vocal chords. I was devastated because I really, really wanted to sing, but I could have risked serious long-term damage if I had of done.
“It was out of my hands, but if I could have been there and sung, I would have.”
Unable to even attend the studio that Saturday night, Diana reluctantly sat at home at the X Factor house and watched the show on television.
“Watching the show on telly and not being able to be there was one of the worst things in my life. I was in total shock at the end of the show when Laura was voted out; all I wanted to do was give her a big cuddle and I couldn’t. It was horrible.”
Diana detected a “weird atmosphere” emanating from the judges that night, and picked up on the “negative energy” that seemed to run through that show.
“I just couldn’t believe it. Laura had been the favourite the whole way through and she was probably the best vocalist in the competition. She was my best friend in the house. Even though I love Ruth so much, I really wanted Laura to get through.”
She still replays that night over in her mind; adamant if she had been there things may have been different.
“I felt so guilty seeing those two girls in the bottom two. They didn’t deserve to be there. I’m sure if I had been there the votes would have been totally different and could have gone a totally different way.”
It just proved that it only takes one act to be missing to totally disrupt the dynamic of the show.
“The feeling of guilt I had was unbearable - I couldn’t stop crying my eyes out.”
When Laura did return to the house, Diana was at the front door waiting for her. The two embraced and stayed up all night until Laura left in the early hours. Diana admitted to feeling extremely nervous that Laura would blame her for her departure:
“I was so worried she would think it was my fault, but Laura’s not like that; the thought didn’t even cross her mind. She’s such a lovely person.”
Safe in the knowledge that her ex-roommate, Laura, is rooting for her all the way, and pleased that her health seems to be improving every day, Diana only wants to look forward from now on. The future's looking bright!